I truly am not a "preachy" person. I believe in God with all my heart and soul. I went to a parochial school as a child. I send Kaden to the same school. I've always believed however the "my religion" is just that...my religion. It's what I believe..how I feel..my relationship with God. I have to admit...I do not "love" going to church. I'm not inspired or awed by the sermons at my church. I mostly..go..because if I don't...I pay more for Kaden's tuition. I laugh at myself putting this out there for the world to see..because now it's all exposed. As IF God doesn't already know EXACTLY how I feel! My sister goes to a church in Waupaca that I love. You leave feeling like you can conquer the world with one hand behind your back. I love that church. Kaden was actually baptised there. It's an hour away..and again..if I chose to go to church there I pay more for Kaden's tuition.
It's not that my church is all bad...because it's not. I LOVE the school. I LOVE the daycare. One of the pastor's is actually pretty good and I do like his sermons better than the other. Take as an example...Sunday was A Service of Joy. The service included the seventh graders singing really upbeat and modern songs. WHAT does the pastor chose to use as his sermon. Abortion. Really? Abortion...for a service of joy? Put on my seventh graders??? I don't care WHAT your position is on abortion..but I'm sure most of us can agree that that is a matter a parent should be talking to their seventh grader about...NOT put out there in a "service of joy." Ok...I'm off my rant. On to my original meaning of my post...Sorry..I got carried away, lol!!!
God is amazing. I have struggled with my relationship with Kaden's father for 5 out of the 6 years I've reunited with the man. It truly wasn't until I said...Let go..Let God..and started praying NOT for him to have our relationship work...but for him to guide me down the path that I need to go that I am truly feeling joy again. I am not perfect. I still hurt. I still open my mouth when I should keep it shut. But I have a peace about me that I haven't had in a very long time. Instead of being terrified of being alone for the rest of my life...I feel like everything will be fine. I've really been alone the last six years and nothing horrendous has happened. I feel good...and it's all because I decided to stop thinking I can change my life on my own..God is amazing.
God is amazing. I was so torn as to what to do with my job. Should I stay where I was...with perfect hours, great coworkers but minimal pay..or should I move on to a job I knew like the back of my hand..with great coworkers, night shift hours, and very very good pay! I prayed..if it's meant to be God...it will be..you'll help me through it. I remember the day I went into my boss's office to tell her i was leaving. I just kept praying..ok God..you brought me this far..you'll be sitting right next to me..holding my hand helping me through this. He was. I cried, my boss cried, and she told me point blank she didn't blame me one bit...she completely understood. She was great..as were my other coworkers for the remaining six weeks I stayed AMAZING. God is amazing.
God is amazing. I again...didn't quite know what to do about the house. First..WHAT were the chances that this little house that I loved MONTHS ago...would be for rent? Second...WHAT were the chances that I find out that this house was one of the original homes built by Toborgs. Torborgs is a lumber company....my sister is married to the Grandson of "THE" Torborg that built this house. WHAT are the chances that when I said I didn't want to pay that for rent that she would agree to less? It's all because of God. It's all because of Letting go..and Letting God guide me in the direction I need to go. Again I say...God is amazing.
Sooo...I'm done preaching. Who wants to help me move?????