What could they be talking about?

What could they be talking about?

Never allow the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game!

Babe Ruth

Thursday, October 18, 2012

A wolf...in sheeps clothing...

Oh yes...I'm talking about this little lady.  Miss Lucy Lu. The story starts like this....For the past 35 years we have had relatives come travel from "across the pond" to visit.  My Great Grandfather's sister lived in England, so her family still comes to visit.  My Mother, who is NOT an entertainer..called me to see if I'd host dinner on Sunday.  She wanted me to make Granny Trace's amazing white chicken chili. Sooooo....after cleaning and cooking all weekend...my last and only concern was Lucy.  She's STILL not completely potty trained.  Which is a HUGE pain in MY butt!!  So what to do with Lu when the guests arrive.  How will she behave...ohhh please oh please Lucy be a good girl.  AND a good girl she was. NOT!!!!!!!

First...she loves water...I turn the tub on and if I'm not watching her she's in it.  However...let a few raindrops fall from the sky and God help us all she will die if she needs to go out to go potty.  UGH...just what I need trying to get ready for company...and dog who won't pee outside...so we KNOW where she'll be peeing!  Oh but wait...not her usual pee on my braided rug pee...THIS time...she decided to hop up on my $25 red plaid craigslist chair in the dining room and PEE on THAT!!!!!  WHAT!!!!!!  She has never ever done anything like that!!!  So here I am...in the midst of all my preparation....frantically searching the internet for ways to get the dog pee smell out of furniture.  Just for the record....Febreeze only hides the scent for awhile...the adds are NOT true!!!  $#&^ Dog!

Ok...I manage to make the house smell quite lovely with all my candles and melters going....an entire bottle of febreeze,  and a pumpkin pie baking.  Crisis averted....

UNTIL....the guests have arrived, dinner is eaten and enjoyed...we are sitting around the table chatting...I look for some reason at the floor under the table and.......OH DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN...there is a dog terd RIGHT under the lovely English woman's foot!!!!!  If she puts her foot down she's stepping in it.  OMG OMG OMG>..what do I do...how do I get THAT....OHHHH THAT DOGGGG.....Oh yes...the bone...theirs a bone....I try to nonchalantly sweep under the table...wait...wait...oh yes...that's HER...MY MOTHER..."Katie WHAT are you DOING!"  Excuse me..but at this time I wanted to smuck her upside the head and say SHUT UP!  I know...rude.  But really...I'm going for inconspicuous here!  I sweetly say...oh I don't want anyone stepping on the bone...sweep up the dog terd in my BARE hand...and think...ok, now what do I do with this!!!!  Simple...excuse myself to the bathroom...flush...and wash...VERY VERY well!  OMG!  Dead Dog!

Ok...we survived...or did we????   As you all know Kaden is my fellow decorator.  Welll....Kaden needs to show everyone his room.  so we all head upstairs.  We see Kaden's room...and next stop...my room...however Lucy has beaten us there.  And....wait for it.....decided the best place to pee would be ON MY BED!  OMG>>>>>>>again...she has NEVER done this before!  WHAT is going on.  They are all coming to my room next....omg omg...what's a girl to do..BUT sweetly fold her hands behind her back, place them strategically over the PEE...and lean back on her bed...OMG.  My hands are not sitting in dog pee...and its soaking into my bed!  DEAD DOG!!!!!!  Yes..yes this is my room, yes yes its lovely...now move on PEOPLE!!!!  As they leave the room...I grab a candlestick off my bedside table...stick it under the quilt so it's off the bed...check the sheets..dry..ok, didn't soak through.  OMG!!!!!!!!

The remaining visit was dog doodoo free.  Lucy is still alive.  Just in case anyone was wondering!


  1. What a story, one of those that "it's not funny but yet it is funny." Not funny for you as you are trying to entertain guests, but seriously, a comedy to us reading about it! Poor little Lucy, Ya gotta love her. I know how exasperating it can be, I remember those days when we first got our dog.

  2. Well I'm certainly Laughing my but off but I'm sure you could have just died going through it..giggles..Sounds like Miss Lucy was trying to get attention.You made it through that's what counts..smile..Warm Blessings!~Amy

  3. Oh Katie I can feel your pain but it is kinda funny too. I think little Lucy Lu is so cute or she would be....well you know! LOL
    Be blessed,

  4. Oh Lucy Lu you bad little doggie.
    I know it didn't seem funny at the time ~ but it is kinda funny...smile I think Lucy was jealous and just wanted some attention.
    Hopefully she doesn't do it again.
    Gotta Love them!!!
    Prim Blessings

  5. Oh my goodness.
    First let me say I am sorry for you, but wow you have me rolling.
    What a lil pistol.
    I love your real stories.
    Hugs to you Friend.


  6. This sounds like the 'dog and visit from hell'....lol
    Goodness Kati I loved reading this but I so can feel your pain. We have a kitty that pees and it's horrible ot find it when company is at your home....I totally understand...but you do put a twist on it...THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE GIGGLES but at the time I know you wern't doing that so much.
    All in all it sounds as if it all went off without a hitch and they didn't even know how you 'covered' all the messes.
    Bless you heart!!!

  7. I'm so Sorry Katie, but I was laughing the whole time. You need to write a book my friend, with all these wonderful stories. I would've done the same thing you did. Oh, Lucy Lu!
    Have a wonderful weekend!

  8. You will get no sympathy from me, only laughter! That was so funny. I know you about had a breakdown but look at the laughs you gave. Next time you have "elegant" company, you may want to try doggie diapers!lol Thanks for the laughs! I needed them

  9. Holy "dog" crap. You have a bad, bad, girl!!!! You about made me pee from laughing so hard. Oh, it could have been worse though. What if you never found the pee on the chair and someone sat in it or your Great Grandfather's Sister stepped in it and dragged it all over the house?
    You did a good job covering it all up:) Thanks for the smiles. -Steph-

  10. Oh my gosh, love this story, you made me laugh so hard! She may be naughty, but she's adorable!
    Have a great weekend!

  11. OMG! Time to call the Dog Whisperer. Seriously, she may have a medical problem. How old is she? Either that or a really bad attitude towards having company... which I can't blame her there. LOL.

  12. Oh my goodness!! What a wonderful story teller you are!! I was giggling the whole way through. I know....not funny to you at the time. I've been there..I have a naughty little beagle who likes to do similar things...although she's not quite that naughty.

    Have a wonderful day~Becky