Twenty one years ago I gave birth to my second son. My beautiful amazing little Jordan James. So...today I want to share a few funnies about this adorable little boy...really..he was adorable...I took him trick or treating once dressed as a scarecrow. We went to someones door..and the guy who answered just kept saying, "Omg..what a beautiful child." He then had to call his wife so she could see this amazing child, lol! Really!!! Seth..however would be sure to add at the end of this story..."Yea but I wond cutest little farmer!" Which he did. Lol.
Jordan took 46 hours to be born. And Jordan has never been in a hurry a day since. Jordan is the most laid back easy going kid you will ever know. As a baby I swore you could lay him on the floor and as long as you fed him every once in awhile he was perfectly content. This mind you was mind blowing to me after dealing with Baby Boy No. 1...also known as Zachary Micheal, who had collic! I had a friend with no children babysit once. When I got home she told me she was never babysitting again. I was horrified, and asked what happened because he was always so good. "THATS the problem," she said, "Now I want one!!!" Yep, that's my Jo.
Jo was suppose to be called Jory..after the Flowers in the Attic books. Yea...I know..if you've ever read them, THATS really who you'd want to name your kids after, lol." But I always loved the name. It never really happened though. We always just called him Jordan. Until second grade..and flag football. I was watching one of his games, and this lady kept yelling and cheering for Jo. I just assumed her son was Jo. THEN it became quite obvious to me that she was cheering for Jordan. I'm not shy..so of course I had to ask her how she knew him and why she was calling him Jo. She apparently was his substitute teacher. And as she said.."Isn't his name Jo?" I told her no..it was Jordan. She told me...well he says Jo, and that's what he writes on his papers at school. Ohhhh really...apparently..having a substitute teacher was a prime time to change his name...because, as he so elloquently put it..."Jo is a lot shorter to write!" Ahh yes, thats my laid back Jo. AND that is how Jo was born, lol!!!
Another funny story...When Jo was about 3, he loved the movie a cowboy way. He wanted a cowboy hat in the worst way. So..I think it was my brother bought him one. Now...if you've ever seen the movie A Cowboy Way...with Woody Harroldson..remember the part in the beginning when he's "with the girl"...and he walks out to talk to his buddy....and the cowboy hat is hanging from his mid section. Yea you get it ladies...his name was ....woody, lol. (Give me a break, I'm trying to get the visual across while keeping this PG 13!). Soooo...I walk into the bathroom one day...to find a very frustrated 3 yo..trying to "hang his hat" and it just keeps falling off!!!! Hillarious!
Then there was kindergarten. I learned after boy #1 that boys will potty train when they are ready. One day when Jo was close to 3 he informed me he needed to go potty. I thought ohh...ok. He did...and did forever after. The child never had as much as ONE accident after that day. so fast forward a couple years to kindergarten. I get a phone call that Jordan has wet his pants. Now again...hasn't happened ever...so I go pick him up and bring him home. Next day..I get ANOTHER call he's wet his pants. Now this is weird...and my nursey brain is thinking maybe he has an infection. This time I just brought clothes to change him at school. While in the bathroom getting him cleaned up..he asked "aren't you going to bring me home?" I informed him no, that I was just cleaning him up and he would be going back to class. "Well Corey says if you wet your pants at school you get to go home!" Yea...not so much. Never wet his pants again, lol!!! Way to go Corey.
Remember when your kids would die before taking a shower? WELL....back in "those" days Jo also had a strong attraction to his fathers ax. Mother told him a million times do NOT touch the ax, you will -Recut your foot off!!! So one sunny afternoon around 2 pm I hear the shower running. I live in a house of boys...who in heavens name would be in the shower at 2 pm. Hmmm...it's Jo. NOW that's even stranger. Because he HATES taking showers. THEN I notice a little trail of blood leading to the shower. Hmmm.."Jo...are you bleeding?" "Yes(in a very pathetic weepy voice)" "what happened Jo?" "I cut my foot off!" I wasnt' real sure I even wanted to wip the curtain back...but I did...to find a terrified, wet, bleeding little boy...who thank you God had NOT cut his foot off..but did put a pretty good slice in the top of it...you guessed it...playing with Dad's ax!!! After getting him cleaned up he asked me, "Mom how come you always know what's going to happen." Cuz I'm the Mom baby...cuz I'm the Mom. I'm still trying to figure out how he even knew how to turn the shower on!!! Lol.
Jordan was a drooler..so his older brothers..and little one..LOVED to traumatize him and make him blubber and drool. I have to admit..even as the Mom..I found it a little disgusting, lol. Once Zach and his friend made him eat all the yellow jelly beans out of the jelly bean jar. Didn't find this out until years later....at least I know why he doesnt' like jelly beans. Zach also use to make him dress in camo and go out in our back yard...that had a little woods despite living in town...and he and his friends would hunt Jo...with BB Guns. Again...found this out later. Ohhh...and Zach was the pitcher for his baseball team for many years...apparently...Zach would make Jo put on a life jacket...and then use him as his back stop to practise pitching. Years later when I was finding out these stories Zach simply said..yea but look how tough I made him. Ahhh yea...Blubber Boy is certainly tough, lol!!
There was the time we went to see Jurassic Park..and Seth(his little brother) had him sobbing in the back seat because he told him TREx's and Velocoraptors can run faster than our car...and he was quite certain he saw them in the fields on the way home. "Seth stop it your scaring me..." Said with naughty little giggles from the little brother in the back seat. Or what about the time the looney man who walked the country road in front of my sisters house was walking by. We all jumped in my van..only to see poor little Jo..standing outside...all alone...looney man walking buy...blubbering away. Oh yea...you can feel free to nominate me for Mom of the year anytime!!!!
Yes Jo had given me 21 years of wonderful memories. His three years of football when his team went undefeated. HOw much fun was that. I'll never forget their last game...running down the sidelines as one of his buddies ran the ball in for a touchdown...to make them go undeafeted the final year they all played together. I'll never forget him crying in the bedroom when his girlfriend of 3 years dumped him..my heart just broke for my little boy. Even though he wasn't little anymore. His excitement with hunting...and how he names his bow. His amazing knowledge of history. His stubborness...and the wonderful, yet short, back massages he'll occassionally treat me with.
And now...here he is...21 years old..I'm sure hung over as all get up. A junior in college...who just informed me he once again..has switched his major..at least know I know what it is...Computer Science!! He has a beautiful girlfriend..Tamlyn..who we've threatened is in..if he ever decides she's out! My super laid back, never in a hurry son..who works at Jimmy Johns (yea, you know the place..know for their FREAKY FAST subs, lol)..and donates plasma..so he can eat at college. yes...that's my Jo.
Thank you for taking the time to get to know him a little better today. And if you would say a little Happy Birthday for my Boy.