Ellie isn't her real name. But I want to tell her story. I'm going to start by backing up to 1996. I had just finished nursing school and was starting my first job as a real nurse. I worked at the same hospital I am at now. I was just about finished with my orientation. It was a gray dreary day. It's odd how I remember it so well. I left work and went to pick Seth up at his daycare providers. I remember pulling up to my house and my Mom's car..plus my then husband Mikes parents were there. I remember thinking that was odd. Zachary was only eleven years old. He came out of the house...I'm not real sure who was with him...I think it was my Mom...but it may have been Mike's Mom. He told me Grandpa had died. I remember just feeling numb. I remember going into I need to take care of my babies mode. As the days that followed passed...someone gave my Mom a book to read. 90 Minutes in Heaven. I read it front to back. I remember taking two things from that book that I have never forgotten. One..was when a tragedy happens..it's to prevent a bigger tragedy. I somehow found peace in that. My Dad was killed in a car accident. My Dad had high blood pressure and had had two "Mini Strokes" already. My Dad crossed the center line and hit the other car head on. The man he hit later said my Dad had looked to be slumped over in the car before he hit him. We always...although my Mom never had an autopsy done...assumed he'd possibly had another stroke. My parents were suppose to leave for Minnesota that night. I took the comfort in that ....the bigger tragedy may have been that my dad had this stroke with my Mom in the car...and possibly they both could have died.
The second thing I took was that we choose our lives before we are born. Only the strongest souls chose bodies that are not perfect. I admit...it was a little "weird"...but I've always remembered it. This weekend at the hospital I especially remembered it with a precious little soul we'll call Ellie. Ellie was born Friday. She was born to a Mommy and Daddy that couldn't wait for her. She has one other sibling. Ellie is a beautiful little girl with lots of dark hair and chubby chubby baby cheeks. The kind you just want to squeeze. What made this beautiful little girl special..was to every one's surprise...Beautiful Little Ellie was born with Downs Syndrome. Ellie's Mommy had ultrasounds done...and the doctors never thought anything was wrong. I think of Ellie's parents...the questions, the tears, the fear of the unknown with Ellie. I think of Ellie..this tiny little soul who has chosen to be this little life with disabilities. I think of little Ellie with her tiny little hands, and tiny little feet...and I wonder...what will Ellie's life be like. Little Ellie was having problems breathing. Not huge problems..but just couldn't keep her oxygen saturation up without having the tiniest bit of oxygen on. She kept me company in the nursery for two nights. The constant beep beep beep of the monitor, along with the occasional alarm when she'd dip down to low and wasnt' getting enough oxygen. Ellie barely cried. I finally gave her her first bath last night. She didn't like it...but she cried...and that was kind of like music to my ears...hearing her complain! She barely ate...and that worried me...so I checked her blood sugar. I was honestly afraid of what the results would be...but I was more afraid for Ellie if we weren't doing everything possible to help her. Her blood sugar was dangerously low...15. We want them at least 40 with a newborn. I fed her with a special bottle...that little angel sucked that bottle down..as if she was saying..OK, I will eat. Her blood sugar went back up to 75. We are now feeding her every couple hours...whether she acts hungry or not. Because Ellie just doesn't complain. And being the sweet little thing she was...she'd suck it down. I wonder what will Ellie's life be like. Her future...I'll pray for Ellie..pray that she is able to live a full happy life. That she is able to be given every opportunity possible..and mostly that she is loved..She chose her life...she's a strong little girl. God bless Beautiful Baby Ellie. I"m glad you and I got to know each other.